Let’s talk about ‘comparison’. A comparison is key, yet often toxic. Without comparing yourself to where you were to where you are you would lack motivation, drive and willpower. But comparing yourself to others is toxic. We are all guilty of it, we all know it isn’t the done thing but for some reason we, “can’t help ourselves”. Guys do it much more than you think ladies, they are just less likely to admit it.
Over the past few years, social media has soared. Life has adapted and the internet is booming more than ever. I see it’s constant development as such an exciting prospect. I am however cautious that people are viewing the ‘online world’ as a negative place to be. In my eyes the internet is a ‘thing’ it exists, so do many other things. It’s not so much the ‘thing’ that is the issue it is the WAY people use it. If you choose to follow certain types of accounts online that is YOU manually choosing what content you would like to consume on a daily basis. This is where the road to comparison begins.
It’s amazing to have people that inspire you and make you want the best for yourself. But it isn’t healthy for you to sit and consume hours of content comparing yourself to other people, posting your own content for others approval and comparing your ‘position’ in society.
I am a firm believer in everyone is running their own race. You might go on a talent show at 15, be all over national television and then become a performer. But that story slows down by the time that person is on their way to 30. On the flip side, one of my favourite examples: Simon Cowell, broke at 33 on his parent’s sofa and now look… a man who’s in a position that is going from strength to strength.
“Don’t let other peoples stories influence the way you look at your own”.
We are our worst enemy when it comes to comparison. We are the only ones that can get full control over our thoughts and actions. It’s taken me till I was 25 to even figure this out. I wish someone had sat me down years ago and explained it to me. From 18-25 while starting out in the entertainment industry I have only been taught comparison – Why ‘him, him and him’ are getting the jobs and I am not. The cutthroat way of auditions and castings have previously led me to ultimately want me to trade lives with others for their ‘qualities’ that have been so commercially viable. And then the penny dropped.
About a year ago the theory of ‘no one else can be you, there is only one of you and you can do whatever you want’ suddenly all made sense. Those are words people have said forever, but I obviously wasn’t ready to understand that. I’m not beating myself up about it – its obviously part of my story and everything happens for a reason (even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time). You have to trust your story, trust the process and enjoy it for what it is. If every single thing didn’t happen to you the way it did – you wouldn’t be where you are today.
Remind yourself of the long game. The long game is the only game that is won. Short term wins and losses come and go. Learn about yourself, develop your strengths and weaknesses. Push yourself out of your comfort zone because that’s when the magic starts to happen. There are no ‘rules or regulations’ to achieving what you want. Only you and your ability to take control of your mind and push yourself. Don’t waste any more time comparing yourself to someone else. Please.